Sunday, April 09, 2006

disquiet within



i'm out of sorts ...

this should be a time of celebrating palm sunday and reflecting on God's goodness towards us ... yet i'm still out of sorts ...

i can't put my finger on it ... just an ill at ease type of feeling ... it's been with me all week ...

i've tried to think of what might need confessing, what might need doing, just what might need fixing within ... who needs an apology? you know, that type of thinking ...

or it may be living with someone in chronic pain 24/7 ... leo's health takes a downhill turn in the spring ... he just doesn't feel well ... that might be tied to the disquiet within ... or the changes that i face at work ...

i prefer the "peace like a river" ... rather than the "sea billows roll" ... don't we all!

so tho' i am battling this tempest within, i will say with the psalmist,

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
Psalm 43:5

8 comments:

Elizabeth said...

We do not live in a peaceful time, though we are not suffering yet as is a goodly portion of other people in the world. But we are nearing the times of the end days...some say because Gaza has been forsaken as was prophesied in scripture, the end days have begun now. So having peace within may be not so easy in times to come. Will take a lot more praying I think. I struggle some days too.

My hubby is suffering very badly with arthritis...and a friend here is also...even my old knee injury flared up to scream some lately making me wonder if I might actually have to have doc help. But it has once again simmered down now. But I read that the spring time flares up arthritis for most...so I guess to be expected. Won't our new bodies be a joy SOMEDAY??? WE sure are looking forward to ours! Yet knowing we have nothing to complain about really compared to what others face, like your Leo. Count our blessings, name them one by one, eh?

Saija said...

elizabeth ... good points ... i also think that all our emotions are common ones, and i can't sit on the mountain top without having experienced the chilly valleys ... i just wonder what caused this feeling ... it's a good thing we walk by faith, rather than sight! my sight is "short-sighted" many a time! hope you & your hubby had a blessed sunday despite aches & pains .....

eija said...

Oh, this was so much like my feelings at the moment! Restless, kinda lost... wondering, what's going on.

I want to write a blog post, but don't really know what to write, because I don't want it to be anything negative or depressing - again!

Let's just hang in there, rest in His hand. It'll all be good eventually.

Saija said...

eija ... it's that Finn seasonal thing with us, eh? i find that my skin is too thin sometimes and i take everything to heart ... sigh ... you keep hanging in there too!

Maggie Ann said...

Hope you are being renewed and made strong again...wouldn't life be just too wonderful if we could be happy all the time? I'd love it personally. Most of us have thin skin I think...and I know I often wear my heart on my sleeve. In other words most of the time, my face reads like a book...oh dear..smile. Jesus knows our downsitting and our uprising, and thats a comforting thought, that he is ever near. Hoping your Leo has a break from the pain soon...and praying about that just now. hugs!

Saija said...

maggie ann ... thank you for the prayers ... leo is feeling better today - so of course am i ... we are so connected in this pain walk of his ... it is "our walk" ... thank you for the encouragement too! it just blesses my heart ...

Mindy said...

You know Saija...I felt this same way on Sunday...it has finally lifted...Praise the Lord!! Praying for you also...blessings and love xo

Saija said...

mindy ... it seems that someone was "up" or should i say "we were down" ... it seems that quite a few of us in blogland were down in the dumps, hmmmm?