Sunday, March 22, 2009

life continues along ...

aren't these daffodils lovely? they cheer up the room ... yet, i think that the little joys aren't quite as sweet when a loved one is suffering ... the thought of their situation is always there ... and prayer always on our lips ...

the annual ice fishing derby was held a week ago ... the weather was beautiful and over 1100 anglers were enjoying the day ... i took my usual pictures, because it is good to continue along - to go for walks - to notice activities around us ...

and on the day of maria's surgery - our fridge conked out! we weren't sad about it, 'cause we didn't like that fridge anyway! (it was noisy, came with the condo and not very energy efficient) ... i was able to pick up this maytag, on sale ($200 less the asking price) from one of our local retailers - who delivered it within the hour and took away the old one ... the freezer is on the bottom ... i had always wanted one of those ... it all worked out and we didn't really have much angst about it - because in the long run, fridges (or anything material) don't really count ...

maria is recovering well ... i haven't been able to speak to her yet (she's still in ICU) and i haven't had an opportunity to go into the city yet (hopefully soon!) - so we rely on my cousin and maria's husband for updates ...

i am glad that i've learned lessons about chronic illness (my leo has had a 26 year long battle with unabating pain - which affects me daily too) ... it has helped me understand some of maria's difficulties better ... yet everything is still so unique to each life ... so i've also discovered how little i know about coping!! make any sense? i'm just saying that life is a learning curve ... i'm glad i have the bible to guide me - and Jesus as my Anchor in every storm ... despite having these spiritual helps, my body betrays me with a tight throat, lethargy and emotions bubbling on the surface ...

i'm just sharing my heart with you ... i feel like a small child ... so very weak ... relying on my Heavenly Father for everything, moment by moment ... at times like this, i cling to verses like "when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 ... but please don't think that i am in despair ... i most certainly am not ... just feeling the weight of being human, of being here on earth ... understanding more and more what paul meant in 2 Corinthians 5:1 "For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens". God gives us hope ... He shows us what really matters - it's the souls of our family and friends and neighbours ... to try and live in such a way that others are drawn to Christ ... because at the end of the day ... Jesus, and our relationship to Him, will be our only saving grace ... and our loved ones will be the ONLY things we can take to heaven with us ... all things (even fancy new fridges) will be left behind ...

may you be found in Him today ...



18 comments:

Mari said...

I was reading along and came to the part where you mention being so weak and having to rely on your heavenly Father. I was thinking that you are stronger than most because of who you rely on and I came to the next line about being strong! It's so true - I'm glad you knowe who to turn too in these difficult times!
PS - yeah for the new frig. I like the freezer on the bootom too!

jel said...

I like your new fridge,

and thank you for sharing your thoughts , wish i could could.

oh and thanks for the stopby
huggs

hello to Leo

grammy said...

Loved your soul searching words. I have to stop to say thank you God. We take for garnet the blessings in our life (well I meant I do) Glad you got the frig. It does make life a little easier. More prayers for maria and you and leo (o:

Sita said...

Saija, what a poignant post...this really resonated with me..
"and Jesus as my Anchor in every storm ... despite having these spiritual helps, my body betrays me with a tight throat, lethargy and emotions bubbling on the surface ..."

My 'body' does not keep pace with my spiritual knowledge..as you say it is a learning curve...and I do understand all that you are saying, and I am so glad that you have expressed it...there are still some who think that stoicism is a virtue...sharing honestly your 'process' is seen as whining or even worse, as not having faith..(that means that those people can't follow my blog (-; )

Anyway, I pray that God covers you while you are so tenderized in body, soul and spirit. I just read that "God's best work happens when we are at the end of ourselves"..and you can be sure some of His best is happening right now in your life and those of your loved ones...
Have a blessed week...

Susan said...

We all relate to these words because you have put us to words!!!
Susan

Pat said...

My soul heaves a big sigh after reading this post. Not a sigh of defeat, but rather a sigh of thanksgiving and victory that yes...our anchor holds and that anchor is Jesus.
Your honest word are a healing balm, knowing that we all share the same trials at different times and different levels.
PS
Love the new fridge, I always wanted one with the bottom freezer too. When mine conks out, that's what I'm getting!

Nancy said...

You bare your soul but stand on firm ground with your strong belief in God. I know He is comforting you in all these trials. We do know our earthly bodies fail us but God never does!!
The frig is terrific!!

Amrita said...

I love daffodils, but none are found in my place. Wordswoth 's poem just thrills me.

Glad to hear that Maria is doing well. May God heal her.

Your fridge looks really nice.

I have a strep/sore throat. Not liking it at all.Need to rest.

Mimi said...

I like your beautiful new fridge...
and I also want to tell you how very much I admire you!! you cope with Leo's illness very well and you are very strong and encouraging for Maria...
You are a real blessing to so many people...you just don't realize it...

I know that God is giving you the strength..
Love,
Mimi

Maggie Ann said...

I loved reading this....I know just what you mean. When sad things happen its like walking against the wind...we DO feel so small and helpless and we are. Yet....God! Hey, I like your new fridge...thats the latest model isn't it? Yay! =)...they seem to last forever but when they go...they go. Our 2 year old (fridge) sprung...sprang? (kidding about that spelling...well, maybe)...a leak in its water hose. That sounds rather personal doesn't it...grin. So the hose is hanging in a large bucket...still leaking about a gallon a day...because of a needle valve? Hubby is trying to get a repairman to come out but you know how that can go. Wait...wait. and water...I mean wait. We are going to buy some old-fashioned ice cube trays this week.~~I'm glad to hear Maria is recovering well...praise the Lord for his tender mercies to her. I can't even imagine all she's been through. Bless her heart! I was tickled to see you & I posted about our cheerful daffodils at about the same time. Great minds run in the same direction they say...or we could make that ...thankful hearts couldn't we. I should have e-mailed...this is a long comment. *hugs* I loved seeing each of your pictures...I read this post over the cell phone to my sweet hubby. & described your pictures. blessings to you!

daisymarie said...

You just bless my heart so much!
I'm so thankful that you were able to replace your old frige so quickly and get one you like so much better!!!
It is just like to prepare us in ways we never ever expect.
Warm thoughts, prayers, and hugs.

Cathy said...

Thanks for sharing your heart with us, dear Saija. I know having loved ones sick is very stressful. Thank God He helps us to be strong. Praying your sweet sister will not suffer ~
Loved your pictures, flowers, you and your new fridge!

MeMaw said...

These robes of flesh we wear do get heavy at times. It is so amazing that we have such a "burden bearer" in our Lord. His yoke is definitly easy and His burden is light!

Blessings!

Deborah said...

Hi Saija, I'm glad to hear your sister came through surgery okay. God is so good...he's strong when we are weak...just keep looking to him!

Felisol said...

Dear Saija,just had to check in before going to bed.
The Lord always finds way to comfort. (through the books)
I pray he also strengthen you all.
Praying NOW!
From felisol

Terry said...

Oh Saija...What an answer to prayer, eh?
I remember when Betty was so sick and the blogger friends were praying for her, it was such a comfort, because you are so right...I think that I would have gone out of my mind sometimes with worry and the feeling of helplessness that there wasn't anything we could do but wait for her to get better.
I am so glad that she healed really well from her heart surgery and now she is the one that is taking ME back and forth to Hamilton for my doctor appointments!
I have to have the pace maker put in next Tuesday...Betty will be taking me AGAIN!
Well I must travel on Saija.
I am glad you got a Maytag.
It will probably be the last fridge you will ever need!...Love Terry

Catherine said...

Congratulations on your new fridge! It looks lovely -- I'm glad you were able to get it installed so quickly and that you're happy with it.

I'm also very glad to hear that Maria made it through her surgery and is recovering. I have been bad about keeping up with my blogging friends lately, but she has been in my prayers every day.

"my leo has had a 26 year long battle with unabating pain - which affects me daily too"

I'm so glad you said that. I sometimes forget that when my loved ones see me struggling with the RA, it affects them, too.

auntibeck said...

What a beautiful post Saija--I'm praying for you...remember He knows, He SEES and He cares about all your needs.