Sunday, December 06, 2009

the Christmas blues


i get the blues around this time of year ... just when all the Christmas decorations are out ... when folks start to get into the swing of cooking, socializing, wrapping gifts ... i struggle to keep my head above water ... it seems to happen every year ...

i know i'm not the only one ... other blog buds have shared their experiences ... that's why i'm sharing my feelings now ...

i guess my little family (leo, me, the cat) fall so far from the norman rockwell scene ...

leo is at the stage in his chronic pain life where he doesn't want to go out unless it's a must - like the doctors ... we don't invite folks over as much anymore either, because leo can't visit for long periods (which is anything over an hour!) ... it feels odd to have these quiet years on us ... and it makes me especially sad at this time of year ...

there is also the missing ... those who aren't here anymore ... my dad, leo's folks, others who know no Christmas anymore ... and the missing continues to family far away ... my brother and sister in the west coast ... my mom and younger sister in the north ... maria in the hospital ...

i talk to the Lord about it ... and try to tell myself to "snap out of it!" ... but sometimes i think one needs to just walk through this valley of emotional turmoil and teary eyes before the sound of angels singing joyous songs can be heard ...


"And, lo an angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were very much afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people" ... Luke 2:9-10

12 comments:

Susan said...

There is a time for weeping. Even the Bible tells us that. BUT we have hope and JOY COMETH!!!!
Susan

jel said...

BIG HUGGGGG! ;)

Mari said...

I know this is a tough time for many people and I remember it was for you last year. I'll keep you in my prayers, as well as Maria.

Pat said...

We no longer have small children in our family. They are what made it "merry" and it seemed like all the decorating and shopping was done for them. Our Christmas has taken on the next passage of life...all adult. It presents another new passage of life for us to get acustomed to.
I wish I lived closer, I'd drop by for a short visit, I'm not one for staying long so that would suit both Leo and myself just fine!
I understand how you feel, and it's OK. This too shall pass my sweet friend.
Give Maria my love. One day we shall all sing together..no more tears.

Catherine said...

**HUGS** to you! I'm so sorry it's a difficult season for you.

Cathy said...

Bless your sweet little heart. I love you, my friend. I came to tell you I have an award for you at my blog. I know you don't use them, but anyway, it it for you.

Debra said...

Here's what I'm learning: I just 'do Christmas' the way I want to do it, which frankly, isn't the way everyone else is doing it. I probably won't decorate until just before our daughter arrives. I send only the cards I wish to send and Tom and I attend no Christmas parties. Do I consider us bah humbugs? No, we just march to a different beat than the one heard all over the place at this time. And actually? I tend to feel more "Christmassy" the rest of the year. And since God's ways tend to be quite opposite of the world's, well, I don't think He minds the way Tom and I are handling Christmas at all. Just a thought. Be of good cheer! God is greater than all our traditions combined. :) Hugs, Debra

Mimi said...

we get very involved in church around Christmas... and that keeps us from becoming too blue...
this year will be very quiet...not able to travel to see either daughter...as my hubby is having eye surgery on Dec. 16th and must keep his head down (with back of head to the ceiling) for 7 to 10 days...
right through Christmas...
But it will be merry all the same...
I am praying for you that you will perk up and feel brighter before Christmas!!!

Jammie J. said...

I'm sorry. (hugs)

Maggie Ann said...

Life is bittersweet isn't it.

Amrita said...

Me too Saija

Terry said...

dear saija, i have never, though i have prayed for leo, realized what pain he is in and how you suffer too for his pain,
the last week and a half, bernie has been in such extreme pain and it is just in one arm. leo has it in hiw whole body and that must be so hard.
i am so glad that like bernie, leo has a buddy...the kitty!
i think that this is a real comfort to have those little guys purring as they are with the big guys!
you are feeling not as blue now saija because at least you have maria out of the hospital and the other things will be looking up too...love terry