Saturday, June 14, 2008

another Father's day

i've been feeling a little meloncholy ... i'm thinking maybe because it's father's day again ... i still miss my dad alot ...

this is the first father's day for leo without his dad ... they weren't close - yet, i still think that there is that sadness of what could have been ...

so those of you who still have your dad's ... give them a little extra hug from me ...

just sharing my 2005 father's day post ...



once upon a time ... long long ago ... Posted by Hello



4 years ago, i made a Father's day card for my dad ... knowing in my heart that this would be the last one ... it was ... he died 4 months later, at the young age of 72 ...

it's funny how that *missing* feeling inside can still take over and make me so sad ...

a friend told me that even though her father had been gone for over 20 years, she still missed him terribly ... for me, the pain isn't as sharp anymore - but i would like to see his face and the way his eyes would light up at the sight of me ...

he loved me ... i know that ... tho' he wasn't a very demonstrative man ... in fact, the days he spent dieing - were the days he openly displayed his affection ... he held my hand, and even kissed my cheek ... that was a major show of love from this very stoic Finlander ...

my dad's addictions were something he battled all his life ... when he was in control of them - he was the best of fathers ... when they controlled him - well i won't go there today ...

i wonder why God gives us the particular parents that He does? it must be for an eternal reason ... so i do thank my Heavenly Father, for the lessons learned from my earthly father ...

this father's day i remember ... dancing with my dad, my little feet on top of his, as he waltzed a giggling little girl around the room ... i remember putting my hand in his hand and feeling secure ... i remember a wave and a crooked smile ... i remember isa ...

9 comments:

Mari said...

Saija - this is a beautiful post about your Dad. My Dad is still living and I will get to see him tomorrow. Now that my Mom is gone, I think I appreciate him even more. Thanks for the reminder.

Nancy said...

Saija- I share your feelings, my father passed away 2 years ago, I was his first born & it some ways I felt special only because of that. He to, wasn't very affectionate but my siblings and I knew he loved us. We all shared in caring for him in his last days so he could remain at home. Those days were some of the best days as he accepted Christ so I will see him again on day.

Mimi said...

a beautiful tribute to your Dad!!!

Amrita said...

What a lovely tribute Saija. i miss my Dad too.

Flip Flop Floozie said...

What a nice post today!! Father's Day..I never know how many more my dad is going to make either. He will be 90 in August and is having some memory problems..confusion. We just never know.

Sandy

Pat said...

This post brought me to tears, it is so beautiful. I can picture you standing on your fathers feet while he dances with you. My father wasn't very demonstrative either - maybe it was a generational thing - but I was always certain of his love and can still see his big hands that felt so protective of this little girl.
Now I'm go wipe my eyes.

Sita said...

Saija...my heart is with you...our earthly fathers are special for they bring us something of God that our mothers cannot...you are a special lady too..love your heart...
Sita

Felisol said...

Dear Saija,
we are lucky to have known a father's love.
If we did not love them so highly, we wouldn't miss them that much.
"Parting is all we know of heaven,
and all we need of hell."
Emily Dickinson
and Felisol

Fred said...

Very nice post, Saija, it's a wonderful tribute to your dad.