Thursday, January 05, 2006

a small faith ... but in a BIG God!

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"I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate." Romans 7:15 NLT


lately this verse has taken on more meaning for me ...

it involves my fretting, anxiety and fear ...

you see, i know that God has worked marvelously in my life many a time ... answering prayer, supplying strength, cutting a pathway through a thick jungle of negativity ... He’s made a way for me to see the positive and to hope ...

then my home sold ... which should be a time for celebration - because it was definitely answered prayer ... but i wasn’t prepared ...

i was shaking in my boots ... even though i knew better ... even though God has never let me down ... i was anxious and fretting ... where do we move? how do we move? do i have the strength?

i didn’t want to be such a big cry baby! ... i wanted to have a HUGE faith and be a shining example of the Proverbs woman ... just packing away, making big plans!

duh ... i was a wimpy little girl instead ... and it made me ashamed ...

then i read about the great Apostle Paul ... he said what he wanted to do, he didn’t ... and what he didn’t want to do, he did ...

hey, that was me!!

i didn’t want to worry ... i didn’t want to fear ... yet i did ...

i wanted to have huge faith and be so calm ... but i wasn’t ...

in Romans 8:37 he goes on to say "No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."

Paul continues the encouragement with the wonderful verses 38 & 39

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." ... these words are God hugs to us trembling saints & sinners ...

please excuse my simple theology of a great passage ... it’s just that when i was going through a fearful time, the Lord reminded me that even the "superstars" of Christianity had their moments too ... no wonder us "little ones" quake sometimes ...

7 comments:

daisymarie said...

I love how Paul works through that struggle and at the end of Chap 7 he asks the question: I'm such a mess, who will help me? And then without missing a beat (or so it seems) he moves into Chap 8 with: And now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

It helps me to keep moving through my struggles to the promised victory!

Bless you!

Saija said...

tina ... exactly! i'm so glad that Paul confessed, otherwise we would think there is something wrong with us when we go through earthly trials, the teaching tools of God ... but there is always a loophole ... 2 days ago, i said "ok Lord, i need a way of escape so that i can bare this stress ..." ... He provided inner peace yesterday ... i must remember to lean more heavily on a God who's shoulders are broad enough to carry us all!

daisymarie said...

amen!

Maggie Ann said...

Thinking of you Saija, and I love your sweet honesty. I was in a book store recently and almost bought a devotional but $ adding up made me leave it. The writer talked about meditating on scripture...your post made me think of that. I hope the Lord shows you soon...the new home thats right for you and your husband. Its hard to not know. I'll pray too. hugs from Maggie.

Saija said...

maggie ann ... i SO appreciate your prayer ... i think that is why i have had more peace in the 2 days, because friends are praying! our town is such a small town, so the availability of condos is really limited ... we do have a place to look at today ... we are SO hoping this might work out! (hugs) to you!

see-through faith said...

simple theology NOT!

mustard seed faith moves mountains Saija.. good you aren't in the Rockies ... someone would wake up and their fav mountain would have moved and they'd be disoriented :)

hugs

Saija said...

Lorna ... thanks for that ... :o) ... the Lord is moving behind the scenes ... peace has invaded my heart ... we looked at a place today, and if the Lord moves on their hearts to give us the green light for next month, that would be more than wonderful! these people are not wanting to move until spring, early summer ... we're hoping that their minds will change ... but regardless, however the Lord has ordained ... ... who knew how important a place to call your own is, until you are packing for an unknown future!