Monday, January 10, 2005

Visit to the doctor

every now and then, into this blissful blog world of mine, i think i need to throw in some of the real and gritty of our life . . .

so i’ll give you a glimpse of Leo and i going to the doctor for his quarterly check-up . . . which was today . . .

Leo takes first set of pills at 5 a.m.
i give him his second set around 8:30 a.m.
and then around 10 he manages to get up . . .

it is "doctor day" so he tries not to be grumpy about the 45 minute drive to the clinic . . . i make him some breakfast, we read our
devotions together (i read the bible, he reads the devotional), then we watch a taped sermon (Joyce Meyers today) . . . i "gazelle" while watching the tape (multi-tasking!) . . .

it is bitterly cold out and the car needs to be warmed up (i run out to do that) and then it takes Leo about 15 minutes to get his outdoor gear on and get into the car . . . he is sweating before we even begin the trek . . .

the roads are 50/50 . . . some areas ice covered, others bare pavement ... Leo hangs on to the top handle in the car, as he winces whenever i hit ruts in the road . . . the passenger side window fogs up because of the "pain sweat" that the car ride is producing . . .

we always make sure that we are the first appointment so that Leo and i can go wait in a room . . . Leo lies down on the hard examining table to take the pressure off his back . . . we chat about mundane, every day stuff, as we wait for the doctor . . .

the doctor arrives ... we talk ... he talks ... 15 minutes later we are heading home again . . .

we drop off the prescriptions at our local pharmacy and she tells us it will be ready tomorrow . . .

our loveable feline greets us by purring and pawing at the treat drawer . . . we are once again home in our little cottage ... Leo tries not to complain, but at the end of the day - both of us are tired . . . Leo is nauseous, so supper is a no go.


Leo begins to talk steadily about people, places, etc. - and all i hear is negative chatter ... i am getting upset within . . . i know i’m tired ... so i have a half hour nap . . .

i’m glad the doctor day is over . . . Leo can’t tolerate much activity in his life anymore, he needs his quiet space and set routine to function . . .

mundane, sad, with no answers . . . the tapestry today is definitely viewed from "work in progress" side . . . someday it will be finished, but not today . . .

don’t be sad for us, i’m not . . . Jesus is my redeemer and i know there is a purpose to the pain issue in our life, even tho’ it makes no sense now . . . one day it will . . . my job is to keep believing, keeping trusting, keep sharing . . .

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with wich we ourselves are comforted by God."
II Cor. 1:3-4

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are such an inspiration. I admire your faith. God Bless.
Char

Saija said...

Thank you for your encouragement Char ... and your prayer for us would be much appreciated too ... :o)

J. said...

I'm glad you two are home again, safe and sound. Sometimes the journey is a rough one. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day. :)

Hugs to you this night.

Debra said...

Hi Saija... I'm sorry you and Leo had a rough day yesterday... I do hope that today will be much better! Hugs, Debra

Saija said...

Good Morning Jeanette & Debra!!

well this morning is a bright, clear, -35C type of day .... :o) ... the fire is roaring and i'm on coffee #1 . . .

we both slept well and leo's spirits will be better today because he doesn't have to go anywhere, he is pretty much a "shut in" here at home because his chronic back pain really flares when he has to be places where he can't be lieing down . . .

i hope you guys have a good day too!! hugs, saija

Anonymous said...

Saija be assured of my prayers for you and Leo. Where would we be without prayer and the assurance of God's comfort and strength?
Char

Saija said...

AMEN! and thank you . . . Saija

Ann said...

Blessings to you and Leo... thank you for sharing your experiences with us...

Saija said...

Hi Ann . . . i know that there are folks that have a much harder load to carry than us, but then there are others who don't realize how blessed they are - so sharing is good ... blessings on your week as well!

Anonymous said...

Saija,
Thank you for sharing your day. As you might know, I have a more or less chronically ill brother and sometimes I feel so incapable of encouraging him - things seem to go from bad to worse for him, and I don't know how I can best be of help to him and be an encouragement. Especially when he feels that God is so unjust - any profound thoughts?
Maiken

Saija said...

Hi Maiken!

wow, what a loaded question you asked, i wish i could give you a pat answer, but there really is none except to exercise ones FAITH in a loving God, who never gives us more than we are able to bear (we can say amen to that) ... we believe that we are here for such a short time and eternity is forever - this season of pain will be so forgotten in heaven ... every believer has a PURPOSE, known only to God ... for some it may just be getting out of bed in the morning - or just smiling despite the way their body is aching ... to just be faithful even tho' we think that NO ONE can see ... God can see this ... i don't even pretend to understand all the underlying issues involved in this quiet type of life we lead - being sidelined in the "doing" by the pain that Leo is in ... i don't know, but my faith is in the God who does know ... and in whom we rest ...

i am so sorry to hear that your brother thinks that God is unjust ... Leo has never felt that God gave him this chronic pain problem, but allowed it for purposes that He'll reveal to us in glory ... your brother may need to go through this time of questioning and anger to come to a place of peace with God ... the way the Lord reaches individuals is unique ... but if the person is willing, God is waiting ...

some folks even get healed in miraculous ways (yes, we would take that if offered!!) ... others are in pain until their dying breath ... but once that breath has left our mortal bodies, this mortality puts on immortality - and God shall wipe away all our tears ... there shall be no more pain or sorrow ... these things will have passed away ....

when we see Jesus, it will have been worth it ...

if your brother has anything he wants to ask someone who has been in chronic pain for 21 years, 24/7 ... please feel free to e-mail me and i'll ask my non e-mailing husband!!! blessings to you Maiken, i know we hurt too when our loved ones are in pain . . .

Anonymous said...

Saija
Thanks for the comment.
At times my brother has a really hard time accepting his state. Well, he never has accepted it, not to my knowledge. I think it's mainly because of his church background, a church that implied that if you're not healed it's your own fault. That you don't believe enough, not enough faith. They believe that everyone should be healed. So being sick 31 years, and only getting worse, is hard to deal with when it's your own fault. The other side is, if he accepts that it's not his fault, then it's obviously God's and I think that's even harder for him. Because in his mind God would be cruel, and might not love him as much as he loves others.
He hasn't directly said these words to me but I feel him hinting at this at times. And I must say I can understand him.
Thanks for the offer to email! though he's not the emailing type!

Anonymous said...

Ups, that comment was from me, Maiken, I guess you knew that already ha? :-)

Saija said...

yes i knew it was you Maiken . . . :o)

i've heard that theology too . . . and i don't believe it to be scriptural regarding the healing of ALL . . . what about the little ones born with some deformity, or the diabetics, or the Joni Erickson Tada's of the world? sigh . . . i guess your brother is surrounded by friends (church people)like Job had - Job's affliction wasn't his fault in any way, but Job's friends thought so - erroneously . . .

i hope your brother is a reader - or even on the internet to seek out some of the wonderful bloggers who are in pain yet witness to their joyous faith in Christ . . . blessings on your day . . . and on your brothers as well . . . saija